The day after The Last Jedi came out I was shopping for a birthday present for a friend at a nerd store and these two guys walk up behind me, obviously wanting to look at where I was looking. One of them said “probably buying something for her boyfriend…stick to blow jobs bitch it’s not like you know what you’re looking at” so I turned around and say “Luke Skywalker dies.”
They look at me speechless, they hadn’t seen the movie yet. “What did you say?”
“I said Luke Skywaler dies. He force projects himself to fight Kylo Ren and then dies. And if you don’t get the fuck away from me I’ll tell you how Snoke dies too”
One year ago today we made the exciting drive to pick up two fluffy rescue babies. One year on I can’t image life without them. Its Chibi and Teitos Adoptaversy and my heart has never been fuller 😻💞 #adoptdontshop #poTeitoChibbs
help i accidentally created a cleric with a -1 to religion checks how the fuck did i even do that
“hey i just realized, we’ve been on this trip for weeks and i’ve never really seen you praying”
“eh, yeah, i mostly only do that sort of stuff at greengrass and midsummer”
“…. sharindlar literally gives you magical powers. you have a magical tattoo.”
“yeah she’s cool, she knows i’m busy”
religion checks are more about knowledge regarding deities than devotion
“don’t worry, guys, sharindlar will smite the shit outta anyone we need smote, that’s what she’s all about!”
“… isn’t she an avatar of mercy and life?”
“she’s an avatar of shut the hell up”
Character with skill sets that don’t match their class are my favorite thing
When I first started playing Pathfinder I thought “craft” meant like “watercraft” and I gave a ton of it to my Barbarian so I wouldn’t be useless running with the two pirates in our group.
Mid game my DM was like “No… Like… Arts and crafts.”
And I was like “Fuck it he knits, is there any yarn on the ship?”
DM: *Rolls dice* … *Looks up* This shipment is nothing but yarn.
Me: I’m going to knit a sweater.
DM: What’s your craft score again? *Looks at page*………………. Don’t even roll…
DM: So you all pull into port wearing sweaters beautifully knitted by our goddamned Barbarian.
Ragtag group of scoundrels & assassins: Yay!
i generally don’t reblog this post much because if i did that for every example someone reblogged this with i’d spam everyone’s feed, but i love this
This one time my necromancer was on a boat that got attacked by pirates and the sails got all torn up, among other things, and since my character had no skills actually relevant to boat repair I was like “well, she’ll try to help repair the sails, I guess,” and I rolled really absurdly well, so not only did she repair the shit out of those sails, she embroidered them with a lovely if slightly eldritch pattern. So next time I leveled up the DM asked if I wanted to add sewing as a skill to make her remarkable talents in this area, and that’s how I ended up with a necromancer who, in a more modern setting, would probably have an Etsy account.
Honestly, all necromancers should invest at least SOME points in sewing, so we don’t end up with a repeat of “oh my creation is hideous, I flee, imparting abandonment issues as I go.”
